Please don’t leave me. I was certain that time will come and I’ll say those words and beg you to stay. But I never knew how terribly painful it would feel to be actually standing behind you, just looking at your back as you slowly walk away from me. Please don’t leave me. I know— you know I keep on begging you with my fragile voice. But you just couldn’t hear it. You just couldn’t hear it anymore.
You’re slowly fading away and I’m trying to run after you but you’re just too fast. I don’t understand why you’re so fast.
remember the light and believe the light
an instant of clarity before eternal night
drowning in a sea of logic/ this monstrous state of palsy
the chicken’s still dancing/ the chicken won’t stop
The quote is from the Herzog film Stroszek. It was the last film seen by Joy Division singer Ian Curtis before he committed suicide. As a tribute the words are scratched into the vinyl of the posthumously released LP (from Stephen on site discussion page).
“One day some trainspotter may feel impelled to write a thesis on the number of lines in her plays that are actually borrowed from the works of Joy Division, the Pixies, Ben Harper, Radiohead, Polly Harvey, the Tindersticks, even Elvis Presley. Her theatrical gods were Beckett, Pinter, Bond, Potter, but she wrote directly from her own experience and from her heart.” James MacDonald
Growing Up
By living each day to its absolute fullest, you don’t only sleep better at night but you are one step closer to your dreams. Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say “I love you”. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a someone what you feel. Let someone know what they’re missing. Stalk someone. Blackmail. Laugh til your stomach hurts. Live life. There is not a shred of evidence to support the theory that life is meant to be serious.
tags: gpoy me with friends
Post-birthday celebration. Look how happy I look… wow.
It is just ridiculous to be in this trance. When someone’s this sober and drowning in clear water. Might it be that his vision’s not just clouded but completely blocked? Though in a lot of ways, it is I who’s more blind than one with eyes of the heart. Confuse me more, will you? So I’ll keep turning in this trance. When I’m not sober.
Fuck You
To the person who thinks they can get everything they want because they said so. Just because your parents give you everything you’ve ever wanted doesn’t mean you get to ruin other peoples emotional state, princess.
I’ve pushed you away, to the void to avoid your selfish self-absorbed personality. I have broken free of you childish actions, and now I’m going to set everyone else that you’ve turned to stone free.
The sad thing about Tumblr is you can find and meet a lot of your potential best friends and soul-mates here and it’s sad because it’s just sad and you know it’s sad because it really is.
^^^^^^^^^
(via oddlyjenni)
It’s so comforting to fill your head with all these voices telling you that everything’s going to be okay. It’s so heart-warming to embrace yourself with your own shaking, frail arms. It’s so heart-breaking to try so hard to convince yourself that all these lies are actually truths and facts and that you shouldn’t worry anymore, you shouldn’t fret any longer— because all is well and nothing’s wrong— when the only thing that’s left vast and unbroken is the shell you’re in, the container filled with massive, splashing and drowning waves of emptiness, the void you’ve lived in for all your life.
And you’ve always been certain that sooner or later, the pillars of what has served as your shelter for all these years are going to crumble down into pieces— gradually and leisurely— just as how your consciousness’ eventually going to reach its end.
Grateful
I’m not taking this for granted for a second.
Believe me, I know how lucky I am to have Isabelle love me, and tell me she loves me, even after what happened, because I love her too.
I wanted to tell her so badly for awhile before she said it, but I didn’t feel like I should. I didn’t want her to pull the whole ‘If you love me how could you do that to me?’ thing. She knows I didn’t realise how I felt about her until after that… but I was still scared to say it.
Then she said it to me, and I nearly cried I was that happy. She’d wanted to say it for awhile too, which made me happier.
We’ve got our problems, we’re arguing over stupid things, having meaningless fights, and to some people that would seem like we’re not right for each other; we can’t come back from what happened.
But that’s wrong. Sure we fight and argue, but of course we’re going to. What happened isn’t going to go away for a long time, but we’ve made so much progress already that it’s unbelievable…
What helps me is knowing that when we sometimes fight, the idea of breaking up never crosses our minds.
That’s how I know we have something; we both still want to be here, even though it’s going to be hard for a long time…
I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I don’t care.
I’m used to living by myself and generally love it, but there are odd moments of extreme, apocalyptic loneliness that creep up on me.
(via oddlyjenni)
